You Might Be a Momma....

So it's late and I should be sleeping. Wish someone would inform my brain of that fact, because it won't go to sleep. Lucky for you, or not depending on how this post turns out.

I am a fan of Jeff Foxworthy. Maybe I shouldn't admit it, but his You Might Be lists crack me up. In honor of mothers everywhere on this our very favorite day, I give you this list. Now, these may or may not be actual events from my life, but only I will know for sure.

YOU MIGHT BE A GOOD MOMMA IF:

• You skipped your daughter's band concert to attend book club, then felt guilty as the discussion centered on the really wonderful mother figure who did everything for her surrogate children.
• You reached out to comfort your distressed son in your warm embrace, only to have him vomit all over you. 
• Your husband put you in "time out" during a LOVELY (Do you hear the sarcasm there??) Family Home Evening because of your raging pregnancy hormones. (In my defense, no woman is safe from crazy prego hormones.) Thankfully, said husband lived to see another day.
• You have a secret stash of chocolate that you never, ever share with your children.
• Your daughter informed her brand-new, never met before teacher that she helps mom with the new baby by bringing mom the BREAST PADS.
• You sometimes hide in the bathroom and pretend you don't hear those kiddos fighting while you read a book.
• You let the dishes, laundry, homework, bills and dinner go undone as you read a book, sew a quilt, or okay, I admit it, scroll Facebook.
• You were OH SO THANKFUL for your newborn babe, especially in that moment when that shirt that was maybe still a little too small after pregnancy popped all its buttons during Sunday School.  
• You have fed your kiddos Little Caesar's pizza straight from the box in your giant blue van as you watched one of them practice softball in the rain.
• You were belting out the lyrics to your favorite Bruno Mars and your daughter informed you that "your sex takes me to paradise"  was not a good song, Mom. 
• You have pulled clothes out of the dirty laundry hamper, sniffed to make sure they didn't smell too bad, and then sent your daughter on her merry way to school.
• You have found out on the last day of the quarter that your child was FAILING three classes and your response to them was: WHAT THE HE$#!!!
• You have stopped on the side of the road  in the rain more times than you can count to help a toddler go pee. Also you have probably ended up with said pee on your shoe (more than once).
• You celebrated the drowning of a beetle in urine on your FRONT PORCH because it was the first time your boy had actually wanted to pee all by himself. 
• You have cried for, prayed for, and wrung your hands in despair over your kids.
• You have looked at yourself and felt inadequate, or like a failure, and wondered what in the world God was thinking giving you this sacred responsibility.
• You have taken a nap in the blanket fort while the kids watched cartoon after cartoon after cartoon.
• You have held your newborn babe, and realized that you were part of a miracle...

On this day, mommas, I hope that you will read this and smile. I pray that you will see what a blessing you are. I pray that you will have joy in your home, and in your children. That you will be grateful for the journey that is motherhood. ~Kim