A Toast to the Mamas . . .

Here’s to the mamas who breastfeed their babies.

Here’s to the mamas who use formula.

Here’s to the mamas who work 9-5.

Here’s to the mamas who stay home.

Here’s to the mamas adorned in yoga pants.

Here’s to the mamas dressed to the nines.

Here’s to the mamas who only do organic.

Here’s to the mamas who only do what’s on sale.

Here’s to the tired, frazzled mamas with kids under foot.

Here’s to the mamas of the quiet empty nest.

Here’s to the mamas who had c-sections.

Here’s to the mamas who went all natural.

Here’s to the mamas rockin’ a bikini bod.

Here’s to the mamas sportin’ a muumuu to cover their excess love.

Here’s to the mamas with clean, matching children.

Here’s to the mamas of littles with mismatched shoes, messy hair, and sticky faces.

Here’s to the mamas who send their kiddos to public school.

Here’s to the mamas who homeschool.

Here’s to the mamas with one and done.

Here’s to the mamas with four and wanting more.

Here’s to all the mamas everywhere and in between – you are rocking this mama thing!

Motherhood is hard, like crazy hard! There are days when you long to run away and change your name to anything other than mom. And yet, there are days when you feel as though your heart could burst with love and adoration for your littles. Such is the pendulum swing of motherhood. It’s a beautiful chaos. We tend to think that every other mama has it figured out. Truth be told, no one has it all together. We are all works-in-progress, trying our best to meet the demands of life. So for just one day, can we set aside our differences and focus on that which unites us?

Motherhood: As mamas, we worry for the future; we struggle with our own feelings of inadequacy; we sometimes get lost in the sea of demands of motherhood; we are tired and in desperate need of a nap; we often compare our weaknesses to another mama’s strengths; we love with every fiber of our being; we cry when we’re happy, sad, or mad; and we may secretly long for a magic wand.

So, beautiful mamas, let’s STOP comparing ourselves with that imaginary perfect mom. Let’s STOP criticizing the mama with the toddler in epic meltdown mode at the grocery store. And let’s STOP pointing fingers at one another. The world has more than enough nay-sayers. Let us be advocates for one another, for motherhood, and for our children. Let us be patient with each other; agree to disagree, but still get along; give each other the benefit of the doubt; mourn together; be real with each other; and celebrate one another’s successes. Let us look up, reach out, and love the mamas in our lives (including ourselves). After all, we are more alike than we are different.

Here’s to mamas everywhere – the hot messes, the imperfect, and the unique. You are doing better than you think!

-Love me- Kristen

Breaking Down the "Wall of Can't"

Sometimes we impede our own progression. We build walls defining what we can and cannot do. These barriers can be a shield and protection to us, but they can also limit our view of the horizon and the vast world before us. I lived a content and relatively happy life within my Wall of can’t for 32 years. That is, until the stability of my wall was called into question by a master builder. Suddenly, my stones of can’t were being crushed to dust as the sledge hammer of “can” came bearing down. This is my story of breaking down my Wall of Can’t with CrossFit . . .

Finally free from the darkness that held me captive; (see previous post “Breaking Through the Darkness”) I was ready to take control of my physical self. I longed for my physical and spiritual selves to work together in harmony, rather than battle as bitter enemies. My physical self (the natural woman) wanted to be able to eat and do as I pleased. I rationalized that given I was a good cook; I should be able to enjoy the fruits of my talent. With this governing force prevailing over the want for better health, I told my mother-in-law that perhaps I should just learn to accept my body for what it was. She looked at me and lovingly said, “The only thing happy is your taste buds. You’re not happy. You can do better.”

Her honesty was just the kick in the butt I needed. I knew that she was right – I was not happy. I just couldn’t seem to muster the motivation, self-discipline, and due diligence to turn back and begin again on the path of health and fitness. That is, until I saw a candid snapshot of myself. I was appalled with the image before me. I hadn’t realized that I had gotten so big. With the image in hand, I recalled with perfect clarity how winded I was while dancing with my husband just a few months earlier. (Which was very sad for me, as dancing is one of my favorite things to do). I decided right then and there to take control of me again. I was finally ready to CHANGE my ways, but I needed help.

I sought the advice of family members who had found great success with CrossFit, specifically my sister-in-law who had coached me before. Loraine assured me that CrossFit would help get me back on track. However, I was quite leery. I had read the articles of nay-sayers about the injuries associated with CrossFit and the “cult-like” following. But, I chose to cast aside my uncertainties and give it a try, as the first three classes were free.

On Monday, July 20^th, 2015 I showed up to my first CrossFit class. I was miles outside of my comfort zone, having not been to a gym since college. The terminology and moves were unfamiliar and I’m certain I had the “deer in the headlights look” the entire time. But I was not left alone to figure things out. I had a coach right beside me explaining things to me, showing me how to do each move, scaling things down to my very limited abilities, and encouraging me to push harder.

I texted the following to my family after my first workout:

“I did it!! I survived my first CrossFit class without puking, although I do feel like a limp noodle. A healthier, more fit Kristen is coming your way.”

And so, my love affair with CrossFit began. With each class, stones of various size and shape were removed from my Wall of Can’t. I can still recall the removal of that first stone – the stone of “I can’t jump.” My coach, Chans, told me to jump up to reach the bar overhead. I laughed at him and said matter-of-factly, “I have the vertical of an elephant. I can’t jump.” He didn’t buy it. He assured me that I could and nudged me again with the patience of a tenured kindergarten teacher. And you know what? I jumped up and held onto the bar. It was a moment of awe and awakening as I realized I am capable of more than I ever imagined.

However, having been one to sabotage my health and fitness success over the years – I tried to convince myself that I should quit. I recall calling my mom on the way to CrossFit to inform her of my decision. My mom gave me the scolding of lifetime telling me, “You are not going to quit! I will not allow you to sabotage yourself again. CrossFit is the best thing for you. It’s one of the few things that you actually do for yourself (I’m a stay-at-home mom with 5 kids). You have been happier and more confident this past month. You are going to stick it out!” I will forever be grateful for my mom’s scolding and sound advice. I stayed the course of CrossFit with greater resolve to improve and become stronger.

In the following months, more and more stones of can’t were removed as I overcame long-held irrational fears such as: A.) Face-planting while jumping up on a box. Chans enlightened me to start with a short box, look up and my feet would follow. He was right. I was amazed that my heavy legs could do such and even more amazed as I moved to doing box jumps on a higher box. B.) Doing any sort of movement where my head went down first. For one, I lacked upper body strength and two; I had a bad experience with diving as a kid. Chans took it slow with me, helping me build my upper body strength before ever pushing me into trying a handstand pushup on a box. I was ecstatic when I was able to complete an entire workout that included handstand pushups on a box. It was an incredible moment as the impossible became possible. 

CrossFit has taught me that I can do hard things. I have never pushed myself as hard as I do at CrossFit. The workouts are intense and require an incredible amount of mental toughness and endurance. Left to myself, I would quit long before the end of the set workout (as I did in the past when faced with such fatigue and sweat). However, knowing that others are doing the same workout and that I have a coach and community cheering me on – helps me to dig deeper and work harder when I want to throw in the towel. I purposely place myself by someone faster and stronger than me to motivate and encourage me. This tactic has served me well as evidenced in the following example: We were dead lifting for a one rep max. My previous personal best was 105#. However, on that particular day I noticed a girl of similar strength dead lifting 165#. I thought to myself, “If she can do it, I can do it.” With the encouragement of my coach and fellow CrossFitters, I successfully dead lifted 165#! I was amazed at the strength within me – another stone of can’t removed. I couldn’t help but squeal with delight and celebrate with dance. I can do hard things! I am getting stronger, both physically and mentally.

I began to notice that on the days I worked out, I was a much better wife and mom – more patient, more energized, and happier. The release of endorphins, following an intense workout, is an amazing natural high – much like the “runner’s high. I believe that is why CrossFit is so addicting. That, and for me, it’s one hour that I get to be just me – Kristen. I set aside my various titles and roles while I reflect inward, dig deep, and unleash my frustrations through exercise. CrossFit has become my outlet for stress. Before CrossFit, my shoulders were always tight and sore – as that is where I carry my stress. However, since beginning CrossFit, the pain and tightness is gone as I’ve strengthened those muscles and found a healthier release for my stress rather than chocolate. CrossFit is helping me become a better version of me.

What I love most about CrossFit is that whether you are new or advanced, each workout is going to be difficult and challenging. That’s because our coaches scale the workouts to each person’s level. There is a constant drive for self-improvement as our coaches encourage us to set monthly goals. It’s an incredible concept when you think about it. I’ve taken part in various exercise classes, where you look around and think, “They aren’t even breaking a sweat and here I am dying.” At CrossFit, everyone is working hard and usually breathless and sweaty by the end. No one is concerned with what others are doing around them, as they’re simply trying to make it through the workout themselves. It’s encouraging to be in an environment where everyone is working hard to improve themselves while cheering for the success of those around them.

CrossFit was truly an answer to my prayers as I sought to take control of me again. Through our gym’s latest nutrition challenge, I was given the tools to help me attain even greater success with a new eating plan that just made sense. While following the plan, I discovered the harmony within that I had been seeking for. (Unfortunately, I fell off the wagon during the holidays, but I’ve regrouped and I’m hitting it again full force. For me, I’ve learned that exercise is not enough. Healthy eating is not enough. I need both of them together with accountability for me to be successful). Perhaps, one of the best things CrossFit has done for me is the change in my perspective. I no longer set goals to be a specific size or lose X amount of pounds, but rather my goals are to be healthier, stronger, and faster – specifically to be comfortable in my own skin, to be able to do a real CrossFit pushup (on your toes, chest has to touch the ground, arms close to your body, elbows back), a pull-up, and run a 9-minute mile. I have realized that I am capable of so much more than I ever imagined.

With CrossFit, I am crushing the walls of my own limitations, by removing the stones of can’t. I’m sure I sound like an infomercial for CrossFit, but I can’t say enough about the positive impact CrossFit has had upon me. My coaches (Chans and Tausha) have played a huge role as well – removing my excuses, pushing me to dig deeper, and opening my eyes to a vast horizon of possibility. I’m not where I want to be . . . yet. But I can tell you this; my Wall of Can’t is getting shorter and shorter with CrossFit and I am finding more and more peace in my life. 

So friends, what walls have you built for yourself? Are you impeding your own progression - mentally, spiritually, emotionally, or physically? It’s time to take inventory of our lives, knock down walls, and make improvements. We can do it! God didn't send us here to fail, but to rise each time we fall and fill the measure of our creation.We only have one life to live – let’s make it a great one!     

~Love me~ Kristen