What Makes a Mother?

It is here, it comes every year, without fail.That dreaded day that mothers all over the world cringe at. Yes, you guessed it: Mother's Day. And why do we dread it you ask? Simply because we allow ourselves to look at every other mother in the world and compare their flowers to our weeds. We see their beautiful new dress, their lovely curls, their sweet, reverent children sitting there in the pew at church. Then we look at our little flock, and we see a wrinkled blouse with spit-up stains, hair that hasn't been out of a ponytail in two months, whiny, fighting children who probably won't last through the opening hymn, let alone through all those talks about all those wonderful mothers. And we allow ourselves to feel inadequate, worse, like the worst mother in the world. We wonder why in the world God would entrust us with His precious children, because, clearly, we are not up to the task He has given us. Please tell me I am not the only one who has felt this way.

Why do we do this? Why do we allow Satan into our heads? Why do we let him beat us up, tell us we aren't good enough, we can't possibly succeed? Why do we feel like if we aren't mothering perfectly every minute of every single day that we are failures? More importantly, how do we stop? How do we become the mothers that God would have us be?

The answer is simple my friends, and it is right in front of you. In fact, it is staring right back at you when you look in the mirror. Please start seeing the beauty and good in the mother that YOU already are, instead of wishing and hoping and trying to be like Sister Jones, or Sister Smith. God knew what He was doing when He placed those precious children in your arms, and He still does. He knew you would make mistakes, that you wouldn't be perfect. He knew you would lose your temper, lose your patience, even sometimes falter in your faith. He knew you might (would) yell, maybe even swear when your patience was worn thin.  He knew you would get frustrated and angry, and sometimes lose your head (maybe even box an ear or two). He also knew you would repent, improve, and try a little harder to be better at this, the hardest, most noble of jobs.

I posed this question on Facebook today: What makes a good mother? I asked my friends to list one or two characteristics that good mommas possess. I was surprised how varied the responses were.  I heard great attributes like patience, a sense of humor, dedication, courage, wisdom, personal sacrifice and faithfulness just to name a few. But one stood out to me from all the rest, LOVE.

My friend Laura said this," We can look and "measure" how "good" we are, but in the end pure love is what makes a good mom. Not how good they cook our how fun of parties they throw, but love...A mother's love is what you feel when you need it most...a mother's love is what makes her a mother."

As I looked over the varied responses I received, I realized that my friends were listing different attributes of that same characteristic, LOVE. They were, in fact, stating the ways that they show or have felt love in their own lives. So what makes a good mother? That thing you already do so well, LOVING your kids, in the unique way that only you can do. Why did God place your children in your home? Because He knew what YOU could do, He knew the influence that you could be. He knew that NOBODY could take your place. That NOBODY could love your children better than you.

Marjorie Pay Hinckley says it better than me, in this my most favorite of all mom quotes:"There is no such thing as the perfect mother..We just do the best we can with the help of the Lord, and who knows, these children who are struggling to be free may someday rise up and call us blessed."

May you have a beautiful, not dreaded, Mother's Day, and may you know that God knows what He is doing, and He did not send you here to fail. May you celebrate the beautiful momma that you already are, and find joy and rejoicing in your children, today, and every day. ~Kim