Sorrow That the Eye Can't See

I've had these thoughts running through my mind for quite a few weeks now, but not a lot of time to put pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard, as the case may be.) I finally decided that if I want to get this post done, I must MAKE the time, for it cannot be found anywhere.

A few weeks ago in Relief Society, we were singing one of my favorite hymns, and the lines struck a note in me. "Who am I to judge another, when I walk imperfectly? In the quiet heart is hidden, sorrow that the eye can't see. Who am I to judge another? Lord I would follow thee."

As I sat there, singing the words, a feeling of shame and sorrow washed over me. I thought of the many, many, MANY critical and unkind thoughts I had running through my head about my fellow brothers and sisters that week. I thought of all the unkind words I had spoken to my children, to my spouse, the ones I hadn't said to strangers but I certainly had thought them!!  I thought of the many ways I had failed to see the sorrows of my fellow man and respond in a loving and compassionate way. I thought of all the times I had judged another, without knowing the whole story, without mercy or compassion in my heart. My heart was heavy as I thought about all the ways I walk along this path so very imperfectly.

The truth is, we are all walking along this path in a very imperfect way. We are all struggling to do the best we know how, in a world that is fraught with sin, struggles, sorrows  and wickedness. The truth is, we are all, each and every one of us, sinners, struggling to get back to our Father. So, really, who am I to judge another, just because they sin differently than I do? Just because their weakness is not mine, doesn't mean I shouldn't have compassion for their struggle, their battle, their war. The truth is, they are my brother, my sister, fighting a battle I may not understand. Struggling with sorrows I cannot see.

The question then, for me, is this: How can I love my brother? How can I do a better job of loving and serving those around me? Does it matter that their sorrows may have been caused by their own actions? Shouldn't we still love and lift to the best of our ability?

I think back to a time when my own actions caused much sorrow in my life, and the lives of those who loved me. I am so grateful to those who loved me without judging me, who helped me find a way back to the path, who helped me to feel the love of my Heavenly Father, without condemning me, or criticizing me for losing my way in the first place. Where would I be without them? I don't know, but I am pretty sure it would be a much darker place than I currently occupy.

The truth is, every person you know, every single one of us, is carrying burdens that the world can't see. Sometimes they are giant boulders in our paths, like the death of a loved one, or illness, or addictions that have caused our world to spiral completely out of control. Sometimes they are pebbles in our shoe, that irritation that just won't go away. Always, we need the love and compassion of our fellow man to help us get through them.

So how can we love our brother?  A few ideas from my oh-so-wise Facebook friends:

• Pray: I, for one, believe in the miraculous power of prayer. When I feel helpless, like there is not one thing I can do to make a difference, I pray. It unites our faith with our Father, and can help bring about mighty miracles in the lives of those we love.  
• Be Kind: Be that safe place, that refuge. Listen without judging, without giving unwanted advice, without thinking in your head about all the ways you would have done it better. (I never do that, ever.) (Using my sarcasm font here, in case you were wondering just how self-righteous I can be.)     
• Serve: It doesn't have to be huge, a smile, a note, a nod at the grocery store. A Dr. Pepper left at the door of a friend you know is having a rough day. Sometimes, it is the little actions of others that let us know that God still knows we're here, struggling along, trying our best to keep swimming, Dory-like, even when we can't remember why. 

It comes down to love, Without judgement, without restrictions, without boundaries. It is looking at our brothers and sisters, and trying to see them as our Father sees them, with limitless potential and endless beauty. I know I have such a long way to go in this endeavor, but my hope is that, in writing this down, in recognizing the desire for improvement, maybe next time I sing those beautiful words, I can feel a tiny bit less guilty...  ~Kim